Interviews

Job interviews are always a difficult balancing act. You have to seem eager but not desperate. Energetic but not frenetic. Friendly but not prying. Intelligent but not know-it-all. Confident but not obnoxious. Relaxed but not unprofessional. All of this while trying to look comfortable in a suit and sensible heels.

Although I have been working in my at-home job for a startup company, I have still been looking for legal work, which has led to a series of job interviews. I have found that being a parent presents a new set of balancing in the job interview process. My resume, which was extremely strong in law school, has a  six-month gap post-graduation. I know that in the current economy, which NPR constantly reminds me is very bleak for lawyers, a post-graduation employment gap is not unheard of, yet I still am painfully aware of the gap when I go in to interviews.

I struggled mentally over whether to bring up my child in the interviews. Having a baby is a perfectly honest and reasonable explanation for why I did not work for six months. In fact, it is a point of pride for me that I took the bar at eight months pregnant, and passed on the first try. I could use this as an opportunity to demonstrate my tenacity, my commitment, and my willingness to compromise personal comfort and sanity in the pursuit of a goal. Being a parent also comes with daily tests of patience, problem-solving abilities, and teamwork.

Legally, I know the interviewer cannot ask me about my parental status. Being a parent should not make a difference in their decision of whether I am a suitable future employee. However, I know that if I bring up the fact that I have a ten-month-old baby at home, it will raise a series of unspoken questions: Will this employee have to leave work to pick up a sick child from daycare? Will her work product struggle if she is up all night with a fussy, teething baby? Will she have to pump at work? Will she have another baby and have to take maternity leave in the foreseeable future? Again, none of these questions should have any effect on the decision that is made, but in the back of my mind I wonder whether it does. For better or for worse, the legal field is still somewhat behind the times and is still not as family-friendly as other professions. If I am compared to another comparable candidate, male or female, who is not a parent, will my status make a difference?

It's a tough question. In the past few weeks, I have had interviews where I mentioned my son, and other interviews where I haven't. In both cases, I left the interview questioning my decision - I was faced with instant regret either way. Either I regretted talking about my son and discussing matters outside of my resume and qualifications, or I regretted not talking about him and missing an opportunity to "explain the gap."

Perhaps the answer is that I am over-thinking the matter. As an interviewee, it is my job to convince the interviewer that I am objectively the best candidate. Period.